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If, Why, What & How?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? How do you KNOW it's new and improved dog food? Why do they put locks on the doors of 24-hour stores? Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow? If sour milk is used to make yogurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad? Why is there an expiration date on a sour cream container? Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Why do we send cargo by ship, and shipments by car? Why call it a building if it's already been built? If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn? What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep? Does fuzzy logic tickle? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? How come wrong numbers are never busy? When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose? Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines? If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? What would we have called the color orange if it wasn't a fruit? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with? If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? Why does your nose run and your feet smell? Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing? Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together? Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? How can someone "draw a blank"? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"? If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away? Why do 'tug' boats push? Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there? Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting? Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission? Why does one get in trouble for Wreckless driving? Does a fish get cramps after eating? Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the samething? Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objectsin mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
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